Radical Beauty

Underneath It All

2009-02-22T15:05:00.000-05:00

All American women need to understand one important fact: the U.S. bra sizing system is wack. There is variation in every size from garment to garment, but with bras you never know what you're gonna get (Can anyone say that without the Forrest Gump drawl anymore?).

You may have hear about Intimacy on Oprah or What Not to Wear, but if you haven't now is your chance. A their stores in select cities, a specialist will meet with you and help you find the right European-sized bra. You see with European bras the band number is the actual measurement around your ribcage. The cup size depends upon the size of your breasts, of course.

A proper bra will be snug. The band will carry most of the weight, not the straps, and it will touch your breastbone. Your breasts will be lifted, your clothes will fit better, and the line of your back will be much improved (I hate that bra-bulge one can sometimes get).

I'm sure other stores besides Intimacy can help you with sizing, but it's the only on I know of. However, once you find the right size, you can purchase many styles online. My favorite brand is Fantasie. They will run you $40-100+ and they are well worth the price. A Gilligan & O'Malley bra from Target costs $10 for a reason.

You can find Fantasie and other European brands here:

One more thing, when you find the perfect bra, take care of it. Don't throw it in the washer. Hand wash it with a gentle cleaner like Forever New Fabric Care.

Make Me Up

2009-02-22T14:38:00.000-05:00

I can't get enough makeup. As I've been more frugal, I've stayed away from shopping for items that aren't necessary. Well, when you want to save money, the best thing to do is go out and buy the right product the first time. Also, quality is key. I have fair, sensitive skin and tend to get a pimple or two on my chin every once in a while. That means I really, really have to be careful about my products otherwise I end up with a stockpile of foundation that makes me breakout.

Luckily, there are many helpful sites to help us on our quest for Holy Grail products:

15 Minute Beauty Fanatic has some great reviews, but I particularly love her detailed manicure routine.
Makeup Alley has reviews of almost everything. You need to create and account to see everything, but it's free and totally worth it.
Total Beauty is new to me, but their reviews are really helpful.
In My Professional Opinion by Melissa Street is very cool. She recommends products and tools and posts Q&A's.

I love learning new application techniques. Here are some great artists:

Kevin Aucoin's book Making Faces is a must. The man was a true artist.
Bobbi Brown's book Beauty has some nice basic makeup info. I love her focus on taking care of your skin.
Carmindy from What Not to Wear has some great little tips, especially for folks who don't normally wear makeup.
Tricia Sawyer has an amazing amount of information on her website. She doesn't just list application tips, but has tons of video as well.

Mother of the Bride

2009-02-22T14:31:00.000-05:00

One of my closest friends is getting married. She has chosen a fabulous gown and the other bridesmaid and myself get to wear dresses I already had. Yes. Anyway, her mother is dead set on not looking like a mother of the bride. I came up with a little list for guidance. I think it really could work for almost any special occasion.

A mother of the bride outfit must be chic, comfortable and fit perfectly. And it has to express your fabulously unique personality. In order to fit the criteria, I have created these guidelines:

1) When in doubt, try it on. You never know how it will look on you unless you are wearing it.

2) Use a great tailor! Don't limit yourself to petite pieces. If it fits in the waist and not the hips, go up until it fits the hips and have the waist take in. Even if you do find something that fits pretty well, take the extra step to make it fit perfectly. You are worth it!

3) This outfit should make you feel like a million bucks. If you have to force something, it isn't right. There is enough time to find the pieces that are just right.

4) You should have one "wow" piece. This is the funky, unique, interesting piece that you can't live without and are so excited to debut. It could be a jacket, blouse or skirt, or it could be a piece of jewelry. However, it should only be one piece. If you have loud, fabulous earrings, then go easy on the necklace, or don't wear one. The rest of your ensemble should be a chic and elegant complement to your "wow" focal point.

Exercise Clothing

2008-09-15T11:43:00.000-04:00

I spent hours last night trying to find plus size fitness apparel. Much of what is labeled "activewear" is just loungewear. It took a lot of time to find high performance bras and shorts. It took even longer to find plus size tops with moisture-wicking technology. Most of which were expensive and not particularly cute.

Here are the online shops I found that have quality plus-size fitness attire:

A Big Attitude, www.abigattitude.com, ABA
Always For Me, www.alwaysforme.com, Enell, Danskin, ABA
Enell Sports Bras, www.enell.com
JC Penney, www.jcpenney.com, SJB Active
Junonia, www.junonia.com, QuikWik, QuikEnergy, Goddess, Active Adaptables
Just My Size, www.jms.com, JMS, Champion
Ladies Only Sports, www.ladiesonlysports.com, Enell, ABA, Danskin, Pizzazz
Net Sweat, www.netsweat.com, ABA
Paragon Sports, www.paragonsports.com, Champion, Danskin
Plus Size Athletic Wear, www.plussizeathleticwear.com, SportHill, N-2-Fit, Danskin, Enell,
REI, www.rei.com, REI OXT, Danskin, Moving Comfort
Team Estrogen, www.teamestrogen.com, SportHill, Moving Comfort, SHEBEEST, Terry
Two Roads Fitness, www.tworoadsfitness.com, Enell, Moving Comfort, SportHill, InSport

Double-breasted

2008-09-12T11:22:00.001-04:00

I was looking for a brightly-colored rain jacket for a Manolo for the Big Girl reader and noticed that most of the jackets I can find are double-breasted. In my opinion a double-breasted trench looks lovely on Audrey Hepburn, but not so much on a gal blessed with curves. It makes one appear more wide. Why is it that so many plus-size designers don't understand the voluptuous figure.

On a different note, I am lusting after this Gayla Bentley dress and blouse. I love how her Obi Sash gives the silhouette and defined waist.

plus-size models

2008-07-14T11:51:00.000-04:00

Modeling is a competitive field. There are more pretty ladies than jobs. Sure, sure. However, it seems like any pretty curvy girl can pose for a plus size boutique. I LOVE that the shops that cater to bigger gals have real-life bodies to present their clothes. But Tyra has taught us that a good model is an artist and doesn't merely pose, but expresses herself.

I'm tired of seeing a lovely woman with a dead look in her eye trying to emulate Kate Dillon.

What Not to Wear

2008-07-10T14:44:00.000-04:00

I don't have cable. Why? Because I would watch TV all the time. I already watch too much, but if I could get the Style, Bravo, BBC, HGTV and E! anytime I wanted, I would have no friends. Last weekend I did camp out in front of a cable TV and so took in many epsiodes of What Not to Wear. I'm more of a fan of the BBC original because they are so grabby and catty, but Americans Stacy and Clinton do a pretty good job.

One episode in particular featured a Chicagoan who kept saying he problem wasn't her clothing choice, but her weight. She just needed to lose weight for her tight pants to look awesome. Well, the WNTW duo firmly disagreed saying nothing was going to save the clothes, they were just bad. I agree, but I appreciate the point they were trying to make. Even if the clothes were stylish, if they don't fit, they are taking away from one's beauty.

Let's face it, it SUCKS to gain weight. But everyone has had that day. You take your favorite jeans out of the dryer before a night out, slide them on and...they just don't want to zip up nice and easy. You have to do lunges and squats to try to stretch them out a bit. Even with the stretching, you can still see that roll on the top of your jeans under your cute top that now accentuates how your bra strap digs in to your back.

That is NOT the way to feel sexy. You can't pull off a confident, attractive look if you are uncomfortable in your clothes. At the same time, who wants to accept that new label of going up a higher size? I get it. I really do. You have cute clothes already, you want to wear them, not go buy new ones in a bigger size. Just lose weight, right?

Here is a point that WNTW hinted at: when you feel attractive and confident, it will be easier for you to return to your normal size. It may be a little counterintuitive to by bigger clothes to lose weight, but I think it's logical. If you eat your feelings, then wearing unflattering clothes will make you feel worse and eat more. If you look great, you'll be more inclinded to actually live life and not think about food so much.

Take it easy

2008-07-01T11:04:00.000-04:00

I get frustrated when complex issues are made to be simple. Bloody video games cause school violence and people are fat because they have no will power. I get it. It's nice to think about things as being black or white, good or bad, on or off. We want simple solutions. Take a pill. Have surgery. Go on a liquid diet. None of those things are necessarily EASY, but they don't address the myriad of reasons why men and women take in more calories than they can burn.

There are a number of ways to lose weight. It's simple math. Almost any diet invented will work provided one sticks to it. We've all lost weight, but we always seem to find it again. Why? Because we revert back to old behavior. We take in more calories than we burn. What does that tell us? Does that mean that 80% of the people who diet have no will power and are flawed?

No. It means that changing behavior is a complex, difficult process. Changing your diet isn't as easy as getting a food list. It's even harder than reaching your goal weight. Look at Oprah who is recognized as a talented, intelligent, determined and successful woman yet continually struggles with maintaining a healthy weight.

That's why I hate reading about the next diet fad, watching a Kirsty Alley sell frozen food on TV, and hearing about a new wellness center opening up that offers gastric bypass, as if those are viable solutions to the obesity epidemic. Sure there are some people who will be successful with those programs, but not the overwhelming majority of people who try them.

I wish I had the right book to read or counselor to recommend who could help us wash away our food and body issues, but it isn't that easy. It's a good place to start, of course, but even after years of reading these books and talking to good people it's still an intimate problem. It's the closest, quietest most private problem. So hushed that we don't want to talk about it and many times choose to ignore it. Maybe part of the solution is to talk about it more.

What do you think?

The Fat Experience Project

2008-06-27T16:12:00.000-04:00

From http://thefatexperience.com/...

The Fat Experience Project® is an oral, visual and written history project which seeks to be a humanizing force in body image activism.

By collecting and sharing the many and varied stories of individuals of size, the Fat Experience Project® seeks to engage with, educate, empower and enrich the lives of people of size, our allies and the world at large.

The goal of the Fat Experience Project® is to map the experience of fat in a way that is human, has a face, a heart, a mind, a body and a voice. The goal is to listen and repeat - the good and the bad, the hard and the joyful and everything in between - in a way that may ultimately bring compassion to folks who don’t understand. More importantly, however, we hope The Fat Experience Project® will allow the folks who are hearing/reading their own words echoed back to them across the pages, fall in love with themselves and each other just a little more.

We believe that, at the root of discrimination and judgment, there is often an unfortunate lack of basic understanding.

We believe that conversation — hearing the truth of others, and speaking our own truths — can be a healing force.

We believe that shared experience is key to compassion, and that internalized shame often loses its power when spoken aloud.

We believe that sizeism, racism, classism, ableism, sexism, transphobia and homophobia are related issues whose intersections may best be understood through the exploration of personal impacts.

We believe that the personal is political.

We believe that your lives are precious, your words are precious and your courage is precious.

We hope that you will share all of the above with us.

Wardrobe

2008-06-19T14:57:00.000-04:00

My general opinon of clothes is the more the merrier, but usually that is not practical. We have all gone through sizing or life changes that lead to wardrobe woes. What if you have to get a new wordrobe from scratch? What are the pieces you MUST have?

I have consulted many online lists covering the subject. The best one comes from the fabulous Allie at Wardrobe Oxygen in her list of The Staples For Every Woman's Wardrobe.

This is my must-have list:
Pants
· Suit Pants, matches jacket
· Black Pants for day or evening
· Neutral work pants in beige or grey
· Jeans for heels
· Jeans for flats
· Casual pants, maybe khakis

Skirts/Dresses
· Black Sheath Dress
· Black Pencil Skirt (or A-line if it’s a better fit)
· Neutral work skirt in beige or grey (or another pair of pants, if you prefer)

Tops
· Black t-shirt
· White t-shirt
· ¾ sleeve neutral cotton shirt
· 2-5 more work shirts in bright colors
· Sexy shirt

Jackets/sweaters
· Suit Jacket, matches pants
· Colored Jacket, works with black and neutral pants
· Black Cardigan, works with all bottoms

Shoes
· Black comfy heels
· Bright comfy flats
· Sexy shoes
· Neutral walking shoes
· Black boots
· Chic sandals

Coats
· Trench coat
· Winter coat

Accessories
· One great bag, preferably in leather
· Classic earrings (pearls, gold/silver hoops, studs)
· Scarves for around your neck, wrist, waist or tied to your bag

iClick

2008-06-19T14:12:00.000-04:00

While I am sometimes able to find a shirt or sweater in an actual shop (usually TJ Maxx or Marshalls), they rarely have enough items to complete a wardrobe. I complicate things even more with my long legs and desire for one or two items that are not 100% polyester.

So it is fabulous to have so many opportunities to purchase cute clothing above a size 12 online. However, it sucks that one can't physically try on garments before purchase, especially when shipping is pricey and non-refundable.

I am a fashionista, or as much of one as I can offord to be, and have scowered The Internets in search of stylish and flattering garments.

Better selection online, but you can return in-store:

Online stores:
(* I have ordered from, + I really like their stuff)

Addition Elle
Alight
B & Lu
Belle Avenue
Black Cat Plus
Cherished Woman
Fashion Overdose
Fashion to Figure
+Igigi
Jessica London
Junonia
Just for Curves
Just My Size
*Kiyonna
Lane Bryant Catalog, different stuff than the store
MetroStyle, up to size 20
Mewv
MissPhit
Monif C.
MXM
+Neiman Marcus
*Newport News
+Nordstrom
Penningtons
Pin Up Girl Clothing, few plus designs
Roamans
+Saks Fifth Avenue
Shop Style
Silhouettes
Size Appeal
Soft Surroundings
Spiegel
*SWAK Designs
Sydney’s Closet, dresses only
+Torrid
Trentacosta
Ulla Popken
Willow Ridge
Woman Within
Zaftique

Designers/Brands I like:

AK Anne Klein at Nordstrom, Saks, Macy’s
Caslon at Nordstrom
Classiques Entier at Nordstrom
Dana Buchman at Saks
Eileen Fisher at Saks
INC International Concepts only at Macy’s
Jones New York at Macy’s
Nine West at Macy’s

Designers/Brands I covet:

Anna Scholz at Neiman Marcus
DKNY at Saks
Gayla Bentley at Neiman Marcus
Marina Rinaldi at Neiman Marcus, Saks
MICHAEL Michael Kors at Nordstrom, Macy’s
Rachel Pally at Nordstrom
Svoboda at Neiman Marcus, Saks

News Flash: Courtney Love needs a stylist

2007-07-05T12:26:00.000-04:00

People Magazine reports Courtney Love needs some fahion help. "I haven't had a stylist in nine years because my old stylist went to Madonna," Love said. "I've been looking and looking. I'd rather wear a tube top and have my stomach hang out than not have a good stylist."

How hard is it for a celebrity to find a stylist in LA? Or go to a Nieman Marcus personal shopper and say "fix me." Or at the bare minimum, buy her clothes at the back-to-basics Gap.

Remember Versace Courtney? Compare that with Sid and Nancy Courtney and you'll appreciate the power of fashion. Or compare them with current Courtney and you'll appreciate when to stop having plastic surgery!

Beth Ditto launches clothing line?

2007-07-03T08:57:00.000-04:00

Don't you just love Beth Ditto? You know, the lead singer for The Gossip? (Well, hopefully you don't love that she said this.) This gal has chutzpah. She revels in her curves. Flaunts them with metalic spandex or nothing at all. Thin starlet Kiera Knightly has said she is jealous of Ditto's form, “I stood there watching her thinking, ‘oh my god that woman is so sexy.’"

Now NME reports she's in talks with New Look to have her own line.(photo from Now Magazine)

Summer Suit Sales

2007-07-01T19:39:00.000-04:00

As sales seem to happening all the time, I was checking out Lane Bryant to see if there were any classic pieces or trendy-yet-affordable pieces to recommend. Unfortunately I found nothing recommend-worthy. Though there were some cute maternity slacks, all of the clearance offering as Lane were lame. Also, if you've ever tried on or purchased a Lane Bryant suit, you know that the jacket quality is, well, not good. Think stretchy polyester.

I did find this cute Calvin Klein linen shirtdress at Macy's. The belt could be replaced with something more substantial, but I would probably go without a belt. The blossom color would be lovely on olive or tanned skin, but I'm not sure it would work with my peaches-n-cream. It's a classic, though, and nearly half-price.

Macy's also has a nice Tahari black suit (jacket and skirt) for $200. The jacket is short, but has a cute belt and goes well with the below-the-knee trumpet skirt. I with Macy's shoes this on a plus-size model, but I think it would work well on ladies with smaller waists.

If price isn't an issue, Nordstrom's is carrying a very chic Anne Klein jacket that looks quite slimming. I love jackets that are designed to be worn unbuttoned. It's got a modern cut with a big collar and long arms that I really like. I would love to see the Nougat color in person, it looks like a chic neutral.

shopping

2007-06-29T11:49:00.000-04:00

If you're like me, you've been shopping since before you could walk. I remember my mom talking to me about Clearance, as if it was a person, a friend. We liked Clearance. I was taught to shop for bargains. That is how I've come to donate so many items to Goodwill over the years.

Deals are great, don't get me wrong, but shopping is more about price. There is a method. If you are looking to build your wardrobe, not just increase the items in your closet, you need to be have a discerning eye and a plan.

Successful Shopping Rules

It's not about size, it's about fit. The number on the tag is not reflective of your worth, it's just a number. What is most important is how the garment looks on you. How does it fit your body?
Just try it on. It won't hurt. Plus-sized clothes are especially prone to looking bad on the hanger. You won't know how it will look on you unless you try it on.
If you don't love it, don't buy it. Don't buy something because it is on sale or because someone else says you should. Those things end up hanging the back of your closet or neatly folded at the bottom of a drawer.
Tailoring is a great tool. Buying off the rack does not lend itself toward finding the perfect fit. If you find garments you love, but need a little tailoring, get them tailored. Hems that are too long or too short, or blouses that pull at the chest can ruin the look of an otherwise classy and elegant outfit.
Have a theme. When you are buying a wardrobe, you want to be able to mix and match as many items as possible. You'll need a neutral (beige or grey) and a solid (black or brown or navy) plus some accent items. Your accent is what can help put flair in your wardrobe. Are you into autumn colors? Bold, bright colors? Pastels? Pick accents that make you happy.
Comfort is key! It doesn't matter how it looks if it will be uncomfortable after 12 hours of wear. When you try something on sit down in it and move around in it. Trying on shoes? Walk around. Do a little dance. Are they going to work for your lifestyle?
You must have a solid foundation. I'm talking underwear here, people. Bras and panties, or pants, as the Brits say (I rather like calling them pants, but it leads to much confusion). Whether you realize it or not, you are probably wearing the wrong size bra. If you missed it on Oprah, Intimacy, The Bra Fit Specialists can change your life. I speak from experience, ladies. Undergarments form your silhouette. It's not about strapping yourself down, but giving support and coverage to your frame.
Keep your receipts and know every store's return policy. I am the return queen. I'll get caught up in shopping and suddenly I get home with a $40 tank top that works with nothing else I own. If a new purchase doesn't match clothes you already own or looks weird in natural light, take it back.
If you find something that is perfect for you in every way: fit, price, style, etc., consider buying more than one. A gal doesn't find her perfect slacks every day.

fashion IS a luxury

2007-06-29T09:21:00.000-04:00

Being passionate about beauty and feminism at the same time can be difficult. In graduate school, I studied media effects on women's feelings about their bodies. I've looked at the statistics and know for a fact that women's negative attitudes about their appearance are related to their media use. It makes sense, doesn't it? Popular media represents a beautiful women as having a slim physique. So if I want to be considered beautiful, I need a slim physique.

But I am not slim. Thankfully, I have the presence of mind to know that I am fabulous and beautiful in my own way. I get appreciative glances from men. Truckers honk at me on the freeway. Women compliment my outfits, hairstyles and makeup. Yet, I still have that voice inside of me that says, "you would be happier/prettier/better if you looked good in a pair of size 28 Diesel jeans." I KNOW that isn't true, but the voice is still there.

So what does one do? I tried cutting back on my media use, but I love fashion. I think people can use clothing as a means of expression. Fashion is art. Am I to deny that form of expression and my joy in viewing that artistry in others? That doesn't seem right to me. However, I think fashion should be more accessible and inclusive.

SJP's claim that "fashion is not a luxury, it is a right" is not correct. Technically, fashion began when a middle class emerged that had enough money to purchase the styles that royalty wore. However, fashion is no longer in the hands of the elite. Using New York Magazine's Look Book and the grunge trend of the 1990's as examples, fashion can be influenced by artists with little money. But money helps.

Beyond money, I say that fashion isn't accessible to all because great clothes do not come in all shapes and sizes. A 5'6", size-6 woman is able to find clothes in almost any store that fit her. She can pick and choose items according to her personal style. A 5'6", size-20 woman has very limited options in terms of clothing. The clothing that fits her is likely to be bland. Fashionable zaftig women must be creative to inject style into their outfits.

I'm up to the challenge. I'm bright, sassy and creative. I make do with what the stores offer, but how daft are they to ignore this growing (pun not intended) market? How hard is it for designers to understand that cap sleeves are not flattering on a lot of women? Or that plus-sizes do not require elastic waists?

I am all for promoting fit and healthy lifestyles, but I do not think that means larger-sized people shouldn't be able to dress themselves attractively. Fashion IS a luxury, but it should be more accesible.

I am not my body

2007-04-17T10:40:00.000-04:00

I am not my body. But as the media bombards us with images of perfect bodies we can never have, we become convinced we are our bodies. Passing through puberty, into adulthood and now middle age, I'm sure I have wasted an inordinate amount of time lamenting the size of my hips, the gray in my hair and the lines on my face. Finally, as I approach my 50s, I find my parents were right all along: I am not my body.

I was born in 1959, near the end of the baby boomers. Unfortunately, I arrived without all my body parts fully intact. My left arm is a short stub with a small hand and three fingers, reminiscent of a thalidomide defect. To my good fortune, I picked superb parents who insisted I was not my body. They were fighters who struck "I can't" from my vocabulary and replaced it with "I will find a way." They believed that the development of the mind, heart and soul determines who you are.

My body was not to be used as an excuse. Instead, it became a catalyst.

My body endured surgery, physical therapy, swimming and yoga. But it was not the focus of my life. I was taught to respect my body and to remember that it was only a vehicle that carried the most important things: my brain and soul.

Furthermore, I was taught that bodies come in all shapes, colors and sizes and that everyone struggles in some way with the inadequacies of their bodies. Infomercials have convinced me this must be true (although through puberty I found it difficult to believe the girls in the cheerleading squad had any self-doubts).

I suppose I've always known that my birth "defect" shaped my personality and personal philosophy. In my alternately formed body, I learned patience, determination, frustration and success.

This body can't play the piano or rock climb, but it taught the neighborhood kids to eat with their feet, a skill I learned as a child in the hospital. This body learned to tie my shoes, cross the stage to pick up my college diploma, backpack through Europe and change my children's diapers when they were babies.

People think I am my body, and some try to treat me with prejudice or pity. Some are just curious. It took a couple of decades, but I learned to ignore the stares and smile back. This body has taught me to appreciate my fellow humans -- even the thin, beautiful and able-bodied.

This I believe: I am not my body. I am my words, my ideas and my actions. I am filled with love, humor, ambition and intelligence. I am a creative spirit, a fellow human walking the planet, who, just like you, is so much more than my body.

By USA WEEKEND reader Lisa M. Sandin for NPR's This I Believe